+1+
December 12th
12 hours and 41 minutes
I would be married in 12 hours and 41 minutes
The sound of the loud music pulled me from the solitary of my hotel bathroom and out into the bustling hotel suite where the music was at full blast,., the room was crowded with family friends dancing and trying to talk over the loud music.
It was a sea of black, white and gray. The easiest wedding colors to print invitation on short notice. It was also the color of piano keys but I kept that to myself.
Sofia & Tomas : Hey !
LiLe : Oh, calm down.
Look, the wedding colors are similar to funeral colors.
My mother was sitting in the corner trying to smile whenever anyone looked at her, the tortured widow. The colors also gave her an opportunity to wear a flattering black dress.
My eyes tried to focus on the numerous moving bodies. I recognized a few people. Many of them were my father business associates, they seemed out of place without him there. A few even hit on my mother which she took in stride, I assumed that was the only reason they even showed up they were so quick to assume.
They all want to see if they have a chance with Martin’s hot widow.
“Clara”, I jumped at my mother’s hand on my shoulder. I leaned down so she could whisper, “I know she is here and I just want to make sure she’s not with the other children.”
“What ?”, not quite sure I’d heard her.
“I mean she’s not with the other children, you promised ”
“Who mother ? Just say her name.”
She pursed her lips and attempted a stern look
“Just answer the question Clara.”
"No, Mother she's going on vacation. I won't make you look at your granddaughter if it bothers you so much."
"Not so loud, Clara", she snapped her Italian accent getting thick.
I tried not to roll my eyes as I brushed past my mother and into the hallway. The entire top floor of the Rochester Broadway Hotel had been reserved by my mother, desperate to prove this wasn’t a shot gun wedding even thought it was.
Once I was in the hallway I could finally breathe
I imagined the party in my room would carry on until midnight and for some reason I couldn’t stomach being around all the people who I used to be so close to. It was the fear of slipping up mentioning Rosalie, that I didn’t call my fiancé by his first name and my father, my goddamn father’s murder. . .among a million other little things.
It’s like Arson, Murder and Jaywalking. Murder and Secret children compared to using surnames.
+++
I stepped out on the first floor where no one would recognize me. I sighed and felt around for my room key and headed towards the hotel bar.
“Mommy”
I wasn’t sure I had heard that right, but it was the way she said it that I knew it was Rose. My eyes looked around the crowded hall unitll I could make out Rosalie coming towards me dragging Melody the elephant along. I didn’t see Joy anywhere.
Clara realizes that Rose’s voice is very. . . polished
Ragedy Ann Doll : Why did I get upstaged by an elephant
LiLe : *is talking to a doll* Well, I think people relate you to something scary and dark. I didn’t want that connection hovering around this story
*Drinks Wine*
“What are you doing here ?”, I asked picking her up, “You’re supposed to be in Cape Cod Christmas shopping with Joy”
Who the eff shops in Cape Cod ? Really
It suddenly occurred to me she might have runaway
“We had to get the money”, she explained while running her small hands over my long hair. She really did seem to hate her cropped hair cut, I would have to ask Joy about that.
“You’ll have fun with Joy”, I said reassuring myself more than her, “Weddings are just long boring parties for adults. Also”
Clara : There is also some commitment, love and stuff but that’s not important
"I know", she said plainly
I turned away so she couldn't smell the alchol on me.
At first I thought I was biased as her mother, but apart from her eyes and complexion Rosalie and I looked just like one another, almost strangely so. It would have been obvious to anyone that she was my daughter and if there were ever a time to tell the people I’d kept her a secret from why not now ?
I feel like there is a back handed compliment in here somewhere.“Don’t even think about it”
Claudia had stepped into my path and seemingly into my mind. Just beyond her I could see Clarice but she didn’t get as close as Claudia.
Cause Claudia needs this wedding to go off perfectly so Mr. F won’t turn her in.
“Mother told us to follow you down here and give you a warning. We are doing to much to make this wedding seem as normal as possible. We aren’t just a family we’re an institution. One with family values we don’t need anymore mindless gossip. You promised mother she wouldn’t be here”
“I know, Claudia”, I said knowing how the arts always had to suffer and apparently beg for money, “I just thought she could play with the other children-“
“No, Clara . Come upstairs everyone is looking for you.”, Claudia relaxed on her heels, “You know for a few moments seeing you with your friends and family again you seemed like the little sister we haven’t seen in a long time.”
Clarice nodded in agreement behind her.
“I don’t know what to say”, I said almost tearing up at the vulnerability in her voice.
“Just hurry up before Mother sends Derek”
She smiled and hurried back to catch the elevator before the door closed. Clarice offered a small wave to Rose before following Claudia.
“Rose, you’re okay with me getting married ?”
“Yes , they say that often times the best secrets are those kept by family.”
Or at least that what Mr. F told her.
“I don’t remember”, she said. though I knew exactly who had said it.
I found Joy and Mr. Fierro sitting at the hotel bar. They both had their backs to me. He was writing a check and seemed to be writing down directions and a phone number for Joy. I looked at my watch it was almost midnight. . . it didn’t matter I wasn’t superstitious.
Not supposed to see the bride. . . it’s bad luck.
“I think you lost something, Joy”
Joy swiveled her chair shocked but faked a clam demeanor.
“Oh no, I saw you in the hall.”. she explained, "I knew she would be fine, she does like to wander"
Joy is lying. This is just like how Rose wandered away and made it easier for Martin to kidnap her.
“We
are almost done here, Ms. DeLune”, Mr.Fierro said not even turning to face me.
Although he didn’t even notice that Rose had wandered off. So, bad parenting.
I concentrated on Mr. Fierro’s hands as he wrote down an unfamiliar phone number on the directions he was writing out for Joy. I quickly committed the number to memory before he folded and handed it to her.
It’s his cell phone number. This comes back later.
Once they were out of view I turned back to the bartender pouring me a very large glass of blush wine, my eyes were drawn to the label.
I watched the rose colored liquid settle into the glass
“Is something wrong ma’am”, the bartender asked noticing my gaze
“No, it’s my favorite actually.”, I hooked my heel around Mr. Fierro’s chair turning it so he was facing me, “Thank you”
LiLe stop watching Scrubs.
“You’re welcome, Ms. DeLune.”
“I wish you would at least speak with my mother.”
“What for ? I hardly plan to speak to her after this.”
Okay, so I knew Mr. F was going to leave Clara at the alter but I needed to find a way for the wedding to be an actual thing without having him meet her family.
That’s one of the reasons I wrote the Claudia and Mr. F Alliance in. So I just settled on him refusing to meet them. It was kind of a weak plot point.
“Perhaps if she knew what kind of person you were, she would let Rosalie back into the family”
"It doesn't matter what kind of person I am."
And if she knew she really wouldn’t let her back in the family
"Well it does to her"
"Ms. DeLune, the very fact you disagree with me on every matter does not bode well for the future."
"What do you want me to do about it ?"
"Not speaking would be an admirable start."
Okay, yeah I’m totally trying to break them up aren’t I ? This is awful. Why do all my male characters turn into jerks ? WHY
For the first time that night his eyes met mine, he reached out and ran his thumb over my cheek and just below my lips. I was't naivee enough to think he would kiss me.
Clara : again with the lips thing
LiLe : someone has an oral fixation
Muse : That's what--wait I don't know how to turn this.
“Look at you Ms. DeLune” there was a slight bit of mockery in his tone, “Often times I barley recognize you. You ,appear so tired, anxious and often times. . .”
Very drunk, was what he was going to say.
I stopped mid-sip realizing he didn’t even have to finish that sentence.
“Nonetheless by tomorrow night you will be relived of your afflictions. Guilt manifests itself both physically and mentally with the weak. I look forward to you sharing the burden of your father’ s murder with me.”
Muse : Clothing optional
LiLe: NO
Also he was just monologuing for a bit there. That’s totally natural. *reads ahead*. Wow Mr. F only gets worse.
“You still think I mur-“, I stopped as he placed his finger over my mouth.
From the odd angle I was able to get a closer look at the symbols on his ring.
MCMXXV MMV
In my head I could only make out the last number correctly as 2005.
“1930", I added up the first number, “2005? You have to tell me what the hell this ring is about.”
He rested his hands on my chair, pulling it closer so our legs were entangled."
“Ms. DeLune, you and I are not each others first loves. It is very important you don’t forget that. I had this made so I would never forget that"
"Made ?"
"Yes, from her ashes"
OMG, Clara this needs to end. I can write you a new love interest a better one. Okay how about a nice Playboy Billionaire for you to redeem with your rich but humble musica-loving single mom self ?
I chocked on my wine. Realizing numerous things at once. My grandmother's ashes had been in a memorial case inside the DeLune academy since her death.
"You stole my grandmother's ashes ? You were in Rochester and didn't tell me ?"
"All in good time, Ms. DeLune"
“I shouldn't have to spend the rest of my life being competing with her.”
Preach. Seriously reconsider the Billionaire.
“A little understanding, Ms.DeLune”, he said with very little emotion
“Understanding ?”, I was floored, a sad realization coming over me, “You are wearing her ashes you have a picture of her on your dresser. I don’t think you will ever be over your failed life. “
So, at this point Clara talks him more into leaving her. at the altar These two are more messed up than Tomfia I swear.
“You simply misunderstand. When you’ve lived as many lives as I have it is vital to cling to a part of the past. I don’t quite think you will ever understand what it is like to miss part of an existence.”
I finished another glass of wine trying to rationalize this.
“I suppose your memories of her and the past will fade, but I won’t.”
He looked up slightly amused.
“You clearly have not been in love before.”
Yeah, he is totally not over Lucie even though she left him 5 years ago. This takes place 4 years after LL.
“No”, I said softly holding his hand which he removed, “I haven’t”
So, this is actually supposed to be sweet. Clara is saying she hasn’t been in love before.
"I find that to be unfortunate."
"Please tell me I am not making a mistake", a nervous tremor went through my hands
You are making a mistake
"Ms. DeLune, if I could choose who my heart felt for it certainly would not be you. I simply don't have a choice."
AWWW ?
He appeared concerned for a while and turned back to the bar. I was still for several seconds trying to decide if he had insulted me.
He insulted you.
+2+
Fall IN
The night could not have moved on any slower. Very quietly the bar emptied out. I was surprised no one else came looking for me. Somehow over the course of the night I found myself on the carpet dance floor with my arms loosely around his neck getting lost in the slow melody.
I’m
doing that thing again where I make characters slow dance to create intimacy. April and Cillian were supposed to get their bump and grind on in N:AF at Logan's party to Hilson's The Way You Love Me but I cut it to challenge myself at writing other scenes. Instead he just dances with her cousins.
This is also supposed to happen in Lux when they are at the club in like chapter 8 . Paris was supposed to dance with Isobel and Seraphina to blend in when Isaiah walks by. It felt to cliched. I semi-avert this in Bellum II.
“It’s getting late.”, he said slowly coming to a halt. throwing me off balance
She’s a little drunk
“I know”, I said, " I should go"
He took my hand and lead me out of the bar and to the hallway.
“I want you to come to my room—“, he placed his room key in my hand
“I can’t people are waiting for m—“
“Tomorrow”., he finished, “A few moments before the wedding.”
Clara just got shot down.
“Oh, of course”, I said recovering awkwardly trying to find some place to put the key.
BTW, she puts the key into her bra.
I looked back up to see an expression I couldn't quite read.
“Ms. DeLune I did not mean to upset you earlier.”
“I’m worried. I don't know why. . . I just am”
She should really follow her gut here.
“I beg you not to be. Smile , I find it to be very beautiful.”
“I’m sure you have a beautiful smile too.”
“I’m sure”
He meant those to be his parting words but I couldn't let go and we both stumbled a little.
"I-I suppose we've both had to much to drink"
"I'm afraid it's just you. I will need to be completely sober for what I am about to do next."
Which BTW, is leaving her at the alter.
He kissed my hand one last time and made his way to his room on the first floor. I leaned against the wall for a few moments a smile still on my lips.
Muse: You use the hottest song from Ghost and all we get is a kiss on the hand
LiLe : Hmm, that is oddly appropriate.
I have no idea what I'm referring to here. . . I think it's the movie.
+++
I don’t know why I like this section. It’s like the opening to a mystery cozy
Olive Rainer couldn't help but to grow weary on her days off. She hated to be one of those cops that was obsessed with their work but her mind had been so consumed with the DeLune case. It was getting to the point that she hardly found any other police work fulfilling. Sometimes during her days off she would shuffle through her father's old cases, it made her feel close to him.
Not
today though, it wouldn't help with the DeLune Murder
Her mind constantly went back to Martin's murder and even though she wasn't on
duty it didn't mean she couldn't call the family for friendly
reasons. Just to see what her favorite suspects were up to.
Rainer is one of those cliché cops who can’t step away from the case.
She had known Mrs. DeLune to be talkative when she wanted to be, perhaps she could shed some light on the enigma that was starting to become Clara DeLune.
She dialed Clair DeLune trying to think of some excuse to get her talking.
"Hello", said an heavily accented voice on the other line, It was the housekeeper
"Is Mrs. DeLune there ?"
"No, they are all at the wedding."
"Wedding ?Who's getting married ?"
"The youngest daughter, I think"
Rainer bolted up from her chair, how could she have missed a wedding during her investigation ?
"Oh, yes of course. I called for directions. . . I lost the invite"
"Hmm, I thought they didn’t have time to send those out ? Let me see if I can find the address"
Rainer waited while the woman shuffled around. What the hell was going on ?
"It's in downtown Rochester, you have to tell me how it goes kind of strange, huh", the housekeeper said with a laugh
"Why is it so strange ?"
"Well from what I can tell the family's never met the man. If Mr. DeLune were still around, God rest his soul, he would not have stood for it. I'm assuming the man has money"
Rainer kept the phone tucked on her shoulder and began digging through her closet for a a dress, her thoughts going back to what Juliet had said about the man in the eight sketch. If Clara was in love with the stranger it stood to reason she was marrying him.
A name, all Rainer needed now was a name.
+3+
warm whispers
It was a simple white dress covered in eyelet lace and flared out just above my ankle so I would be sure not to trip. It was far to tight along the top but there was no time for alterations. I slipped on the matching jacket and concentrated on putting the wilting white rose in my hair.
She’s being
conservative and wearing a vintage 1950’s wedding dress. Awww.
I sat infront of the mirror for a long time, not really looking at myself. It was inevitable. . . what other choice did I really have, maybe we were
always destined to be together.
This is interesting, I do wander if I really did some thinking on it if Clierro were always meant to be.
My mother's and sisters were probably in the main hall entertaining the guest
and trying to pretend like father wasn't missing. I was happy to be alone and I
knew if they were here it would be difficult for them to feign support.
I slipped on my silver music-note necklace I had received as a gift, along with
the engagement ring I had never even worn till today. It was heavy and I
doubted I would ever get used to it.
Oh, this necklace
comes back later. I didn’t realize I had written it in earlier.
I remembered Mr. Fierro's request from last night and I felt foolish for not
thinking this through.
The halls were empty and the elevator came quickly, when I stepped out I could
see around the corner as guest mingled in the
I started knock when Emile opened the door nearly running into me.
"Clara", he said, "You look so beautiful"
"Thank you, you don't look to bad yourself."
He straightened up his black tie at the compliment.
"I really shouldn't let you do this ", he said, "but I'll be
right back"
YAY, more Emile
Nothing was out of place except for a chair Mr. Fierro was sitting in. His back was to me his eyes drawn to the mirror at eye level. The windows were all drawn and open letting in a flood of light.
He kept his eyes low as he light a cigarette I walked slowly towards him. He was always dressed well so it was difficult for me to find him more handsome than usual.
I turned on my heels so I was walking backwards.
I reached out with my hands behind me till I hit the back of the chair. I rested my hands on the side and took a deep breath.
“What are you thinking about ?”, I asked
“Nothing”, he answered
Come on, Mr. F"Why did you want to see me ?"
“You can turn around”, he said , “I am sitting in front of a mirror I saw you when you walked in.”
Which is why he was doing it.
“Oh”, I said realizing that I should have realized that, “humor me, then”
"Why did you want to see me ?", I asked again
I swear Mr. F feels bad about what he is about to do.
He waited, saying nothing until Emile came back in with a leather bound portfolio, opening it to display a blank marriage certificate.
Emile gestured to a heavy silver pen that was sitting on the night stand. I heard Mr. Fierro's chair move and he was standing next to me. I watched as he signed his name without hesitation. I started small in order to fit my middle name and heisted at the last name.
How did i want to be known the rest of my life ?
"D", he whispered into my ear, "e-L-u-n-e"
I finished signing becoming unsteady on my heels.
"You want me to keep my last name ?"
"Yes, I know how much it means to you."
And
calling you Ms. DeLune turns me on.
LiLe
: No. . . well. . .
"Is that all ?", I asked realizing how close he was to me.
His eyes went to Emile and back to me.
". . . a beautiful and young bride, if I believed in luck I think I would consider myself so.", he remarked quietly.
I stood there quiet, not entirely sure who he was talking to. His translucent blue eyes taking in my appearance.
Oh, his eyes are blue again. Okay.
"Clara", Emile said breaking the silence, "you should go it's almost time."
Slowly the minutes began to tick away
For future reference Mr. F and Emile shred the certificate after this. He just needs Clara to think they are married. I feel like I should have made it more obvious that they weren't married.
+4+
Okay play that Dave Matthews Crash Into You
I stood nervously as the warm amber light shone through the large windows of the lavishly decorated hall, seemingly lighting the way to the alter with it’s golden light.
I found the nerve to follow the neatly strewn white and black rose petals. Everytime I took a step I had to remind myself to breathe, even though I felt as if I were walking on air or maybe I was hungover.I was aware of my eye lashes as they touched the short while veil. The way the stems of the black and white roses slipped in my hands.
Black roses. Macabre but cute ?.
After
what felt like miles, I took the tiny step off the white fabric finally
reaching the altar.
The
music ended and started again and I was listening to the comforting sound of
the expedition and the introduction of the piano, the music alone seemed to
make my nerves melt away.
I kept my eyes on the door just of to the side, waiting for it to open.
My breathes were becoming nervous as I very soon became acquainted with every silent member of the audience out of the side of my eye. The song silently ended and another one started.
This is so sad. They are waiting for so long that two songs play and she is just standing there.
My lips trembled visibly as I heard the front doors open loudly and made out Emile in the blinding light. He stood at that base of the aisle and self consciously made his way down.
I blinked as a tear rolled down causing all the women in attendance to gasp.
Mr. F you just lose all cool points here. He makes Clara cry.
Emile gave me half a hug and handed me a white envelope. I awkwardly tried to open it still holding the bouquet but he opened it for me and handed to me.
Dear Clara
I realize as I write this that you will never forgive me. The life I left behind haunts me everyday a fact you refuse to understand
I’m sorry it had to be this way.
I love you Clara and I know you will be angry. I understand I am disappointing you, though If you were to listen to me before you would not be feeling what I assume you are feeling now.
I have enclosed a key to our home and if you can forgive me I will be alone in the house tonight.
If you are wise you will forgive me
We have so much to discuss
AMF
This letter is partial sweet, partially condescending and partially D-bagish.
No
No
No
I
read the letter again mostly so I wouldn’t have to look up, a pair of tears
passed my lips. I finally looked up to Emile and then towards what I
assumed highly entertained audience.
Once the tears started they refused to stop and I couldn’t be silent anymore
I rested my face in my hands when I felt a hand on my shoulder
I jumped at the sight of Detective Rainer.
"Sorry, I'm late", Rainer said
"There's nothing to be late for." I continued watching the cars go by
“Oh, I'm sorry”, she apologized
“Are you arresting me again ? Do you just wait for crowds to humiliate me ?”
BURN
“No, I wanted to be here. I was curious”
"I don't believe you."
"Fine. Clara can I show you something."
Rainer opened a folder and showed me a photo copy of a set of letters.
"Clara do you know who wrote these letters ?"
I held my hand out to hail a town car, one pulled up instantly.
“No.", I lied, "Can this interrogation wait ? Today has been kind of rough”
“I suppose-“
“Then please let me be.”, I opened the door and half stepped into the town car and turned back to Rainer, "Here" I tossed the bouquet towards her and slammed the door.
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