Part One
“So Ma’am once again, we are very sorry for your lost property”, he finished while twiddling the tea cup in his hand
“What about my husband?” I finally ask the question that’s been in the back of my mind since the fire last week.
He looks confused for a minute and frantically flips through his file.” There were no human remains found so. . .”
I let out a deep breath and consider how to react but our silence is interrupted by the door bell.
“That’s the doctor”, I explain to him moving from the kitchen taking light steps down the hall, as to not wake Angeline.
Checking to make sure it’s him I open the door and greet Dr. Amherst.
When he found out that I was taking care of Angeline he thought it would be best for me to quit. I didn’t like work so I gladly quit, still it was strange seeing him outside of the office.
“She’s upstairs”, I don’t have to tell him now that he comes three times a week, but it’s a habit.
“Thank you, Sophia”, he replies slipping pass me.
Once he is upstairs the Fire Marshall has wandered out of the kitchen with a check in hand. I can see that it is for 67 dollars.
“This should cover the cost of your valuables”
“Keep it”
“But-“
“Look”, I’ve developed a short temper lately and remove the shoes I’m wearing, “These shoes are worth over 200 dollars and I don’t even like them”
Taking a pen and paper from the kitchen I jot down the
address on
“Send it here.”
He takes the address and bids me good-bye. I almost want to leave with him. I’m starting to feel trapped in this house.
I hated my job as a receptionist I felt as if I was always directing people; sit there, sign this, come this way. Helping Angeline felt the same way; usher the doctor in, direct the kids if they weren’t with Samuel, write the checks.
I washed the tea cups from my meeting with the Fire Marshall when Dr. Amherst tapped me on the shoulder startling me
“
“Oh, let me get the check book”, I grabbed light purple wallet from the top shelf and began scribbling the basics, “How is she?”
“You may want to hold off on that check.”
I stop mid signature and looked up at him, “Why?”
“I think we both know that Angeline is depressed, as her doctor I’m afraid of what might happen, she confessed to me that she was sometimes afraid of hurting herself.”
I knew that feeling, but the thought of giving nurturing Angeline feeling that way felt alien to me. I wasn’t about to break down in front of Dr.Amherst and decide to play it cool.
“I was afraid of that”
“She said she would feel more comfortable with an in house caretaker . . . and I’ve agreed”
He dangled a gold house key from his hands, nearly identical to the one I had on my key chain. Dr. Amherst was young, intelligent ,very well off and soft delicate features, he was very handsome. . .
“I have a question . . . how comfortable are you with Angeline?”
“I assure you
He didn’t see what I was getting at, so I directed my eyes back at the check book, tapping the black ink against the flashy purple checks.
“You know what? These aren’t the right checks, why don’t you ask Angeline for one of her credit cards?”
He smiled one of his charming “pity” smiles, as if I was the child of one of his patients and disappears up the stairs. Once I hear Angeline’s door open I casually peer in his doctor’s bag. He always collected deceased home-patient medications for disposal.
I opened a nearly empty bottle of Vicodin, swallowing them dry before Dr. Amherst comes back down and grabs his bag. I walk him to the door, when he is halfway down the path I decided to call to him.
“Dr. Amherst”
He looks back, “yes,
“Today’s my birthday”
“Oh”, he turns around to face me, “Well Happy Birthday Sofia”
That was all I wanted to hear.
Part Two
Dr. Amherst moved into Severine’s old suite, he usually came down for breakfast at 8:30 and he’d eat whatever I was making. By nine o’clock I’d be left to handle cleaning the house and providing company for Angeline till he came back to do whatever it is Angeline felt was necessary. Dr. Amherst would go on his daily run and back by 6:30 and we’d (sans Angeline, usually) at diner and have polite yet awkward conversations
.
With Dr. Amherst around more often I began to wonder what exactly my place was. Sure, I cooked, cleaned and provided moral support but how long could I carry on like this ? I pushed those thoughts aside and soon developed a little game.
Sometimes for a few hours I wouldn’t say a word. I’d nod my head, point and wave just to see how long it would last. Angeline usually broke me when I would have to sit by her bedside while she described what ached or how unfulfilled she felt. Never mind that I had lost my home and husband although I’m sure they didn’t succumb to the same fate.
I waited for Angeline or Dr. Amherst to notice but they never did, to wrapped up in their own lives, I assumed.
The clock ticked to 8:00 and the day began
+++
I sat across the kitchen table peeking over my book as Dr. Amherst expertly ate his breakfast while never taking his eyes off the paper. Coffee and cereal he liked to keep it simple. When I heard the paper fold I knew he was off to do morning rounds, and tell me which medications to give Angeline. It was all so methodical.
Then it changed
“
I looked up from the book in my hands, wondering if I was going to have to break my 56 hour silent streak. He didn’t say anything else but left a perfectly wrapped present in front of me. The white paper was accented by a bright bow and a shiny chocolate in the center, it looked like a piece of art.
I waited till he left before unwrapping it, my birthday had been 2 weeks ago had he really been waiting this long? Inside was a white-gold charm bracelet with one book charm on it.
A little late but who was I to contest ?
I put my copy of Pride and the Prejudice down and decided to get work on a special thank you dinner. I briefly wondered if I should tell Angeline about the present but she would probably complain about how Samuel never gave her anything.
Looking through Angeline’s over flowing cabinets I made a nice steak dish with salad and stuffed mushrooms. I decided lighting one candle was friendly enough. Dr. Amherst came back late but was pleasantly surprised.
“What’s all this for ?”, he asked sitting down
“I wanted to thank you for the gift”, I replied breaking my almost 78 hour record.
He bought a bottle of wine up from Angeline’s cellar. I started to remind him that I was only 20 but figured it didn’t matter.
“So”, he began raising his glass to his lips, “Angeline told me you were married. How is it I didn’t know that?”
“It’s been different”, I explain, “It started out as a legal thing and became something . . . else”
“Angeline says he was in prison”
I inwardly roll my eyes, that is the one thing that Angeline would remember.
“It’s complicated”, I start realizing I’ve never talked about Tomas to anyone unless I was defending his actions, “some stuff with his mom, but we’ve been living together since he got out in May”
“What is that ? A few months”
I nodded, noting that this was not very polite conversation. I decided to start a new game. . .now.
“I’m going to check on Angeline”, he announced finishing his wine.
“At this late hour”
He didn’t feel the need to respond, dramatically placing his napkin on the plate before leaving. I had just wanted to rattle his cage but I had been very accusing. I poured a little more wine and decided to start the dishes.
+++
Everyday for two weeks he left me a small present after breakfast; charms, miniature perfumes and books. If I felt like talking I thanked him but mostly I just made a nice dinner as a thank you and he accepted.
One morning I decided to wear a dress I had found that matched the wrapping paper and ribbon he was so fond of using. He didn’t say anything at breakfast and by the time I went to get more breakfast tea he was gone and the table was empty.
It felt ridiculous to be disappointed but I wondered if he was mad at me. I had only spent yesterday sitting quietly watching a Friends marathon with Angeline. Maybe he knew I decided to finish her medication for her when she feel asleep..
I pushed the thoughts from my mind and decided I was going to leave the house. Making sure Angeline was asleep. When I stepped outside I realized I didn’t have car keys. I settled for walking around the neighborhood taking a break to sit in the park, it was empty since school was in session. It felt kind’ve clichéd but I sat on one of swings.
My heels kicking up the dirt
I pulled a cigarette from the carton, not quite sure on how I was planning to light it.
“Fuck you”, I said out loud for no reason I could admit to.
How long had it been since I said something out loud this time 3 or 4 weeks ?
“Ma’am ?”,I turned to see a portly cop walking towards me like I was a kitten stuck in a tree, “You know you can’t smoke here”
I went to throw the cigarette away, tripping in my haste. I’ve scrapped my knee enough to know without looking.
“Are you alright?”, the cop ask, I want to tell him to leave me alone, to not come any closer, “Ma’am ?”, he repeats.
“
I turn at the sound of my name, I see Dr. Amherst getting out of his Lexus.
“Is she with you?”, asked the cop
“Yes”, he looks at my knee, “I’m a doctor. I can take things from here”
So clichéd
“Think she’s been outside too long”
“Oh, no”, He says leading met o the car, “She’s not exactly all there”, he explained in a fatherly tone.
The cop suddenly looks sympathetic and helps me to the car.
+++
“Were you that upset about not getting a present?”, Dr. Amherst ask in a comical tone as he applies rubbing alcohol to my wound.
I take deep breath at the stinging sensation and shake my head slightly letting my hair fall into my face, he brushes it back with his fingers.
We are both sitting on the couch, Discovery Health blaring in the background. My leg is across in his lap as he bandages my knee, I keep my eyes fixed on my wound.
“Sofia”, he contines, “I know you’re going through something right now. I guess you get it from Angeline, I don’t know but maybe it’s best you don’t leave the house . . .if your not going to speak”
I nod accordingly so he knows I’m listing.
“There”, he says placing the last bit of gauze on, “Why don’t you get started on dinner and I’ll see to Angeline”
Whatever that means
+++
He continues the gifts the next week and we are back to our odd yet comforting schedule. One day I decided to call his office to see if Margalise picks up, apparently she doesn’t work there anymore. Coming out of my room I hear an unusual noise coming form Angeline’s room
Louis Vuitton luggage is thrown around her bedroom; Angeline is going through her closet throwing thousands of dollars of clothes on the floor.
“
I hope I hadn’t missed another world wind proposal while reading another Nora Robert’s series.
“Sofia”, she invited me to sit next to her on bed and pouring some ginger ale in what looks liker her wedding glasses, “This is a strange town we live in, not a big town but I certainly made my claim here, I think what was really wrong with me was. . . I know where I need to be. I feel like I need to go home”
I pick up her passport off of the bed, it’s purple with white stars on it, it’s actually a little tacky
“I miss ol’ Mom and Dad, I need to spend time with them”, she finishes, “Maybe I should brush up on my Chinese?”
She flashes one of her big smiles, a smile I haven’t seen in a long time. I don’t know what else to do but throw my arms around her, a thank you of sorts, for everything.
“Oh,
She hands me the pile of dresses to try on but I throw them in a pile for later, hell, I decided to throw everything I can reach in a pile for later and spent the night in my room crying.
+++
When the door to Angeline’s taxi
closed and we said good byes (well she said good-bye) it literally felt like a
Frost poem, like
I could go to college, get a dorm roommate rush a sorority pretend to be normal, no, maybe join the military, no, I could travel with Angeline footing the bill. I was literally like the open books I had been reading. It’s not like I waiting for someone.
I took a step off the porch as if that was some big step towards making a choice. The Jack O’ Lantern seemed to be mocking me. I felt a pair of hands on my shoulder.
“Come inside,
Fuck
+++