“Careful”, I semi-scolded

Elijah he had currently preoccupied himself with grabbing at the grass.

I think maybe he was too young to understand and I was a thankful for that. The grave maker was from impressive but it said everything that it needed too. I didn’t bring flowers; the grave was still too fresh for flowers.

“Say good-bye”, I coached him, wiping away my own silent tears. Once I felt prepared we left the cemetery. We took the train back into the city. He was unusually quiet as I stopped by school to fill out my graduation forms.  I opted to take the more accessible bus to Central Park, Elijah liked to look out the window and it was a pretty nice day. After finding a good spot on the in the park, I held   his hands and helped him walk the best I could.

Looking up I could see someone approaching us.

She smiled her usual smile. She takes Elijah’s hands as I resituate myself in the wheel chair I had been confined to since the degeneration of the nerves in my legs.

Fucking AIDS

“Ready to get your GED”, she asks

“I think so”, I say tugging on her pink scrubs,

“I buried Rose today . . . her grave is beautiful. I wish I could afford to send her home.”

“I’m sorry, Tomas”, she reaches over and gives me a one armed hug, I slowly trace the visible ink covering her forearm. I’m permanently apart of her.

“I’m okay”, I say pushing myself out of the wheel chair and into the grass. Although I’m sure she wonders if it has scared me from getting high again.

It has.

for now.

She pulls Elijah into her lap and settles next to me resting her head on my shoulder, tired from a 12 hour shift at the hospital.

I can see the rest of my night playing out for me; taking the 32 train to Astoria, listening to the radio and watching the baby while painting till I lose track of time, then dragging myself into bed with my wife, maybe whispering a silent prayer and hoping I see tomorrow.

+++

I can see the rest of my night playing out for me; taking a short nap on the 32 train, paying bills, making dinner and talking to Severine untill I fall asleep with my Eiffel tower necklace close to my heart.

+++

“Thank you, for choosing me”

She doesn’t acknowledge my words but lets out a sigh.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I saw this girl on a bus?” I ask kissing her.

“Tell me”

“You have to help me”

“Okay”

We decide to start from the beginning.