There are things in life you just always know.
Things that are ingrained in you.
Like how to spell your name.
How to cry.
If you like mustard.
Me ?
I’ve always known my entire life, without question or doubt, for every single day of my life it was unquestionable.
It was unquestionable.
I just always knew.
I knew Tomas Alexander was not my father.
I knew we’d sat across the breakfast table eating cereal for almost everyday of my life.
I knew sometimes when he made his way to the Q14 bus he would be stuck on roll over nights shifts, but my private school tuition always got paid on time.
I knew somehow that Father’s Day wasn’t for me . . . we all just ignored it. Really.
I knew once a week he would do or say something stupid or immature and for a while mom wouldn’t look so tired and she would smile.
I knew my existence shamed them.
I knew it made him angry.
I knew we fought like hell.
I knew I needed to get out of Queens.
I knew I spent more days in and out of hospitals either by his bedside or waiting for mom to get off the night shift.
Sometimes both.
I knew I’d never break my curfew after sneaking in after Billie Politzi’s party.
I knew I ‘d never cry harder or run faster than that day I got pulled out of class early.
I knew I’d never smile as hard as the week after that.
Or the week after that.
Or the week after that.
I knew when he reached up balanced on unsteady legs with an arm draped over my robe-clad shoulders for support, when he turned to me as the flash went off at the same time mom pressed her lips to my cheek.
“You did good. I’m fucking sorry. . . I’m fucking proud. ”
Was what he said pulling a little on my cap’s tassel.
I knew I would cherish that photo forever.
I’ve always known my entire life, without question or doubt, for every single day of my life it was unquestionable.
It was unquestionable
I just always knew.
I knew Tomas Alexander was not my father.
I know
. . Now
That’s a goddamn motherfucking lie.
A/N
To me SH's Mimc was just amazing
because it showed how the past informed the present and I thought about how far
I could stretch time within my stories.Yes, this was iffy for me for a lot of factual reason, but If I was told to write a complete ending
to S&A this is what it would look like. Um, I think. . . .