Playlist : https://play.spotify.com/user/rckrbaby10/playlist/5gQzuLRH9ejNJKvNteVRjI
1 - Turn The Page Sleep At Last
2 - Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray
3 - 1000 Years by C. Perri
+1+
February 6th 2005
It was . . . unnecessary
I had told her that multiple times since we had relocated permanently to the deceptively serene Litany Lane.
So, she had resorted to surprising me.
The backyard was decorated with glass string lights, wooden benches and tables filled to the brim with brightly colored confections and sparkling wines.
“Don’t be mad, “ Lucie moved from behind me
Her hands were clasped in front of her and a infectious smile I hadn’t seen in the six months since she had been here spread across her face.
Her blue eyes were bright and defined.
She was always beautiful
Even in this place.
This still. sterile. never changing place.
Somehow as I looked over the backyard I realized Lucie, like me, had found a way to make it beautiful.
“I could never be upset with you, Lucie.”
With that her smile brightened. I refused to think how the rest of the evening would go. Mollie was certain to stop by. Perhaps the Olivers if they could be persuaded. I hardly doubted the unusually named Widow Masen would get along well with Lucie. She was to sullen for someone as charismatic as Lucie.
“Here”, She pressed a white box into my hands.
I stopped for a moment and held my hand in hers. So often I couldn’t bring myself to believe she was real. That after all these years we were finally together.
Forever
That was enough of a gift for me.
She seemed to glow in the layer of lavender chiffon she was wearing, the setting sun would often catch the reflection of her diamonds.
Once I was finally able to tear my eyes away from her I opened the box to reveal a immaculately shined gold pocket watch. It opened at the hinge to reveal a timepiece on one side and a picture of Lucie on the other.
It was quiet
“It’s broken”, I said.
“No.”, Lucie said wrapping her arms around my neck, “It’s just stopped”
I closed the watch and the space between us. I wanted to spend forever in her embrace. Kissing her as the sun went down, the scent of roses and rain in the air.
“It’s perfect”, I said with a smile, “Thank you. I love you”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
I wish time had truly stopped as we kissed in the twilight, but somehow it moved on.
Everyone in the Cul de sac made appearances, Lucie had also invited a few townspeople including the clothing shop owner. She was infectious no one could say no to her, no one ever had.
Shockingly of all Victor Bourdeaux showed up.
Hardly anyone recognized him and those who did knew him well enough not make a scene of it. In a few weeks his Uncle would be burned in the courtyard and Victor would become King of the dead. The lost.
In private, more often than not, Victor was going on about finding a queen. A virgin queen of all things. Victor was superstitious.
“Isn’t this charming”, Victor said folding his arms
“This was Lucie’s idea. I know it must seem garish to you. But it makes us happy”
“Hardly”, Victor said, “ I think Birthdays are still important”
“I can see that now”, I watched Lucie hug each guest as they wandered in.
“ So, Addie how is married life treating you ?”
He was mocking me. Mocking us. The way he used Lucie’s nickname for me.
“Please, Victor”
“Please, Fierro. She’s such a wise woman. I can’t imagine all the things she must be teach--”
“Victor, Please.”
He smirked and became lost in the crowd again. My eyes were now searching for my wife in the crowd.Lucie found me and took my hand, for the rest of the night we were never separated.
That night when I laid down next to her, I realized I would never have to be alone again.
When I kissed her goodnight, for the first time in almost 50 years I finally felt like I was in heaven.
+++
.
The seasons seemed to past far to quickly
We spent the springs in the garden, side by side as pre-recorded music played from the porch. Lucie was careful and diligent with my roses. I planted white and red damask roses to surprise her next year.
In the summer we went on long walks around town and visited with Mollie. Lucie had so many wonderful stories about her life. A life I had missed out on. We traveled, but no further than the route between Litany Lane and Bourdeaux. In autumn the leaves fall and so I began to fall even more in love with her. We spent most morning and nights alone together by the fire. Waiting and wanting for nothing.
One night by the fire as her hands gently entwined in my hair I kissed her and I saw the sadness in her eyes. She shifted a little from where she was sitting on my knees, her shoes dangling over the chair.
“Lucie”, I whispered into her lips, “What is it ?”
“I miss my family”, she said. Her eyes shiner than glass, “My little girls. I want to see them again . . .but those Sanctuarys are so awful. I’m afraid to go in one”
She looked into the fire, a warning of what could await her if she spent to much time in one of those Sanctuaries.
“Victor has a private Sanctuary in his palace. I’m sure he will make accommodations when we go to stay in Bourdeaux in the winter.”
I move a strand of hair from her blue eyes.
“You could come with me. See my girls. They are lovely”, she said
“Yes”, I agreed hesitantly
When I was that close to her how could I not ?
Winter was cold but it would get colder
Lucie was ecstatic about staying in the Bourdeaux Palace during the winter. I made it clear to everyone she was to have whatever she wanted, and she did.
+2+
Lucie had gone to Victor's private Sanctuary multiple times alone. Each time she came back with glowing news about her family
She never mentioned Roger and I never asked
Once.
I went with her once to the Sanctuary.
I was disgusted by the idea of witnessing the family she had created with Roger. She had assured me that they had divorced early on but 18 years was a long time to be married.
We would have longer though, that I knew.
It was New Year’s Eve when we made our ethereal journey back
The DeLune estate was large and grand. Lucie spoke fondly of the memories she had there as a young mother with immeasurable resources. How she had never had to work a day in her life. I wished more than anything that I had given her that life. More than anything.
I felt as if I was truly standing there as if I could touch or engage but it was all farce.Lucie showed me around the house. The unease of not belonging plagued me, in both a corporeal and emotional sense.The silence was interrupted by the soft chime of a piano that flowed into an almost other worldy song.
“What is that?”, I asked
“Oh, my youngest little girl is very talented. She got that from him, but I helped “
I thought nothing of it as Martin and his wife entered the small sitting room. Two dark haired dark eyed girls following them.
For a moment I wished this life was ours, I imagined those girls with blue eyes.
Lucie told me their names and commented on how well she had raised them. She adored her adult son from a distance and commented his wife of 26 years was “pretty enough”.
Somehow, I found myself gliding away from Lucie
I was following the music
The song was so familiar, yet I know I have never heard it.
In the dining room a maid was working to clear the table. Pushed into the corner of the room was a white grand piano.
A young woman sat behind it, her eyes downcast as she scratched music notes out. She was dressed in gold from the one sleeve on her shoulder down to her shoes.
She dropped her ink pen and as she reached for it she stopped
And lifted her eyes to look right into mine.
Or at least in my direction.
She had beautiful dark deep set eyes which were framed by her equally dark hair and warm Italian complexion.
She blinked.
Her eyes never wavered from my direction as she picked up the pen and corrected her posture.
“Can you see me ?”, I tested
Her lips parted slightly and during this entire chain of events she hadn’t once stopped playing her song. Her hand still moved almost of it’s own accord across the keyboard.
“No”, she whispered hitting a sour note. Then turned back to her piano, “That’s not right. Damn it”
She kicked the piano and slammed the cover of the piano down and picked up a glass of wine. She took a few slow steps forward and stopped just inches from me. Her hands smoothing out the dress that stopped just before her knees.
Her eyes unfocused and I realized there was a large portrait of Lucie on the wall.
She touched the portrait and a small smile graced her features. There was only a hint of sadness as she thought about her departed Grandmother.
“I wish. . . I wish you were. . . here”, she whispered. The pads of her fingers touching the painted portrait.
I-- for the life of me-- for the death of me--couldn’t stop watching her. There was a vibrant warmth coming from her.The very essence of life and nothing else drew me to her.
There was the music though. It was lovely.
“You play beautifully”, I said to a girl who couldn’t hear me.
She dropped her hand, and was contemplative. I knew she was one of Lucie’s girls. Her youngest if I recalled correctly.
Yet, she didn’t look so young to me. Something about her seemed . . . I couldn’t explain it.
She turned on her high heels and headed back to the piano. She opened the lid and started playing again. The smeared ink of her sheet music on the stand before her as she made careful adjustments.
The absolute passion and talent she seemed to have was mesmerizing. Then again
So were her lips
Her hands
Her--
“CLARA !”, Martin’s voice carried, “WHERE ARE YOU. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS YOUR PARTY”
“Coming, Father”, she said Jovially
As I watched her walk past me I saw Lucie standing at the entrance.
I didn’t know how long she had been there.
Lucie’s eyes were hard, her expression cold.
“That’s Clara”, Lucie said not moving. She was so . . . stern, “my youngest”
“She’s very talented”, I said not quite understanding Lucie’s tone
“Yes, she’ll be 22 in April. Ah, To be so young again”, Lucie mused
“. . . and alive”, I added because that was all there was to it.
I knew this moment would fade. I knew this evening, her face would eventually fade. Yet a part of me hoped it never would.
Later that evening I removed the dust from Lucie’s piano in the library of our Bourdeaux Palace suite. Lucie had bought it out from Litany Lane to entertain when she had people over.
My memory had allowed me to memorize the notes the young Ms. DeLune had written down. I tried carefully to play them but there was something missing.
Talent I supposed.
Practice makes perfect
I tried again and again untill I heard Lucie behind me.
“What are you doing ?”, she demanded
“That song”, I said, “ I can’t get it out of my head”
“Clara’s song”
“Lucie-”
“I saw the way you looked at her. She’s barely an adult an impulsive little girl. Always was a little vixen even as a teenager.”
“Lucie, don’t insult me.”
I reached for her in the dark and kissed her, pressing her against the cold palace walls. My beautiful Lucie. Didn’t she realize I had done my waiting.
“Addison--”
“Lucie. Stop. I love you… don’t ever be so simple”
“I will not lose you again”, I felt her cold hand on my chest., “Eternity is ours”
“Eternity is ours”, I vowed
+++
“You play beautifully”, I said to the girl who couldn’t hear me
“Thank you” said the girl who shouldn’t have been able to hear me
“Addison Fierro”, I extended a hand to her
“Clara DeLune”, she said as her hand went right through mine, “ I suppose I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting a ghost, Addison. Should I be afraid”
Hearing my name fall from her lips made the room seem brighter.
“You should. Because I’m much more than a ghost, Clara”
Clara
Her name was still on my lips when Lucie awoke me.
Something wasn’t right.
+++
It was better to be in Litany Lane again, so Lucie and I made our way back.
It was the middle of January and Lucie had filled the city apartment with more furniture than it could handle.The house on Litany Lane quickly received the same treatment. It made Lucie happy so I obliged to whatever she wanted. I may not be alive but I lived for my wife’s smile.
During one cold evening Lucie sparkled in rose colored diamonds I had never seen before.
“I want to travel”, she said, “The King told me about a place called Old City. What do you suppose it’s like ?”
“I don’t know” , I said truthfully
“Don’t you know anything”, she said coldly
I ignored her comment, my eyes on the piano in the parlor
“You’re thinking about her aren’t you”
“Lucie, don’t be so---”
“What ? It’s true. What older man wouldn’t be tempted by a twenty year old voluptuous little virgin like he--.”
“Lucie. I love you. Has my 50 years of pure faithfulness to you meant nothing ? Have you not forgotten the we are here and she is there.”
“What if she dies ? Then what ?”
“Hopefully she will end up far away from here.”, I said
“I just can’t lose you again, Addison”
“You won’t. Tell me you love me and everything will be alright my dear sweet, Lucie"
Her eyes were wet with tears that never fell.
"I love you", she managed.
I promised as I seemed to have done every day for that past year.
I always kept my promise
+++
“What ?”
I hadn’t heard her the first time. My eyes adjusted to the dark after the candles had been blown out.
“We should go … back”
She turned to me her hair spilling over her shoulder and onto her pillow as she turned to face me
“To Bourdeaux ?”, I questioned
“Home”, she said, “ imagine being able to go back to . . . Earth ?”
“Lucie, Surely you don’t want to become a Spectre”
“Perhaps it will be fun. Just me and you. Together forever. Trapezing the globe.”
He head rest against my chest. Her hair still retained the shine and parlor as when she had been on her deathbed.
She had told me the thought of finally seeing me again had comforted her as she passed on. Of finally being in the place as me.
What was it Lucie died of ?
Old age.
Old age
Impulsive
I felt impulsive.
I felt unruly,
Unsure
Young
Perhaps I wasn’t as old as I fashioned myself to be
“No, Lucie. You know I don’t believe in that”, I finally let words escape me
“But--”
“I can’t, my love”, I said.
“Can’t or won’t”, she challenged, “You aren’t trapped on that farm with your strict guardians anymore. You don’t need to be afraid”
I was.
Afraid
Silently I changed the subject.
+++
I’ll see you on the other side, my love
Your Wife
- LM-F
I dragged my shoes through the broken mirrors, glass and vases as I read the last words of the letter again.
Lucie had gone and done it.
I threw a 6th and final mirror to the floor.
Maybe there was still time, maybe I could stop her.
I had run like hell to stop her. I might have made it to If I’d ran faster.
Maybe.
“No, LUCIE PLEASE”
She was on her knees, the guards of the Sanctuary standing over her brandishing torches. When she saw me she beckoned me to join her. She was happy.
I saw the smile that light up my entire existence.
When the first flame touched her she screamed in pure agony.
Somehow she was able to hold her arms out. She wanted me to join her, needed me to join her.
I couldn’t
I couldn’t risk the unknown to join her, I was afraid.
What if Spectres were all lies
What if Hell truly awaited her on the other side
I couldn’t let my wife face Hell alone
Yet
I did
+3+
The house never lost her scent but her presence haunted me more. It was so simple.
I knew what I had to do to join her, yet I never could. I wonder how long she waited till she realized I was never coming to join her.
That year, my birthday was different.
“Abominations”, I said closing the curtain, “Spectres. The idea of them what they represent. What hope they give people. We must put an end to it Emile”
“We ?”, Emilie eyed me
“Yes, I dare say Litany Village thinks highly of your op-eds in the paper”
“Oh, it’s just a community paper”
“Are you saying no ?”, I didn’t have time for indecisiveness .
“Considering the free room and board you are offering how can I say no”
I envied Emile. I envied his smile. Perhaps given enough time I could smile like him again.
“I think I met the woman who lived in the house across the street in town once or twice. Lucie ? She was sweet”
“Yes, she was”, I held the pocket watch close.
I wonder how long it took Lucie to realize I wouldn’t follow her ? One night Emile had gotten the story of my wife out of me but he would never know the true betrayal.
6 months I suppose. That’s when she took her anger out on the only person she could think of.
+++
“The Fog is coming in”, Emile said, “ I wonder who it will be”
I moved my bishop but Emile had lost interest in the game.
“Not important, is it ?"
“So negative for such a young man”
“Please”, I scoffed
“Actually I don’t think I know how much older you are than me. What 100-200 years”, he guessed wrong. Everyone always did.
“When you where you born ?”, I asked
“1976”
46 years. But I didn’t tell him that
“So optimistic for a child, Emile”
Now he scoffed
“Wow”, he said leaning further out the window
“What now ?”
“The new girl. She’s pretty. Not my type but still. Looks like Ms. Ginger is filling her in. Very young… maybe she is your type.”
I cleared the chess board and stood for the first time in hours.
“I doubt it”, I said watching the fog roll past the window, knowing my wife would never be on the other side.
Late the next evening I made a rudimentary trip to the bedroom Lucie and I once shared. It was neat and orderly despite all the things it held, it was just waiting for her to comeback.
I opened the balcony doors to let in the warm midsummer night air.
For a moment I thought it was Lucie.
Somehow. By some miracle she had made it back to me.
No
Something was off
I ran downstairs and watched from the porch to get a better look. The girl turned in her sleep dropping a cup to the ground.
No. no. no
Her dark eyes opened and for the first time Clara DeLune and I came eye to eye with one another. Her eyes widened.
This was all her fault, I gripped the railing. It took everything it me not to toss her into the flames right then and there
She looked at me like Roger had.
Like I was some monster
She tripped over the chair and ran back inside Lucie’s house. My house
This was her fault
I’d lost my chance at eternity in love because of her.
She would pay.
For the rest of her death.
---
I slide my finger along the next page, blood swelling from a paper cut. Quickly I bring my finger to my mouth.
The black leather bound journal falls out of my hands and to the floor. This is what I get for being curious.
It should have been the most beautiful love story I’ d ever read if I hadn’t … ruined it. I stand on unsteady heels and turn on the fireplace.
The flames catch instantly, it makes me . . .smile.
I picked up the journal and toss it into the flames, brushing away flecks of hot ash as they land on my gold dress and heels.
I watch it burn untill there is nothing left. I’m still watching the journal when there is a knock at my door
I hide the rest of the journals in a drawer and close the curtains just before taking in the glowing evening Madrid skyline.
I drop my clutch in the chair and step out of my shoes.
I open the door.
“Where to tonight ?”, he asks politely as always with a hint of sadness.
“I think”, I remember the warmth of the fire,” I think I want to stay in tonight.”
After all
Now
Eternity is ours
A/N
---
So much like in my other novellas (ie Stand in The Rain) I mixed in tomato surprise to keep the story realistic. In this case it’s more subtle. I made the entire story a journal entry to explain why it jumped around in time.
Logic : Hey LiLe where did this journal come from ?
LiLe : Well Mr. F has an eidetic memory (something I never got around to directly stating) so he copied down all his old journals.
Muse : wait it says journals, does hat mean more novellas
LiLe : probably not. I made all my funsie scraps journal like entries
I know what you are thinking. . . what’s with all the Lucie/Fierro lovin’, well what can I say they are really growing on me. I almost wanted it to be Lucie on the porch and for them to be happy and reunited and have like 6 blue-eyed kids named after gemstones (Diamond, Amethyst, Garner, Jade, Amber and Opal) . I've been working on to many naming conventions for AF. Which is why I keep doing this.
(yeah, Lucie having blue eyes is new and Mr. F's eye color is apparently a "colorless" blue in LL maybe a EEF9FF)
I mean how could I not use that Lana Del Ray song ? I was going to use a cover and an instrumental but the OG is so good.
Also this story is Post-JNRR cause they are in Mardrid "trapezing the globe" like Lucie wanted to do. In my head Rose is sleeping on the couch and that's why Clara closes the curtains.
I made this image earlier but really in my head Clara's New Year's Eve dress looks like this I could also see her rocking these shoes. Yes I stole the NYE thing from SH.
