This post on chapter 4&5 is more informative http://lindaleighblog.blogspot.com/2009_09_23_archive.html
+1+
We are trying things my way now, I know I’m going to be running late for my morning class but this is important. After having a conversation on the phone with Tomas’ doctor I was determined to make him stay on his medicine.
See, Sofia is feeling distant from Tomas yet she still wants to keep him alive. There is a lot more focus on this than I ever realized
“Tomas?” I call from the kitchen
“Just a minute, love”
I pick up the little tray from the kitchen table and bring it into the bedroom. He’s standing in front of my full length mirror with his shirt open, running the back of his hands across his lips a few times.
“What’s that?” he ask
“I know you don’t like your medicine, but I think maybe you were taking it wrong, So I laid them out for you and labeled them”
He gives a disgusted look at the pills but seems to be listening.
“Okay, this one is the AZT, this one is for the pain, this one is an antibiotic—“
“That’s the one that gave me a rash, I can’t get my tattoo’s infected. What’s this”, he picks up the new one and reads, “Prozac what the hell, love, I’m not depressed. Jesus, those damn doctors want to label everyone”
“It’ not for that”
“Then what?”
“I don’t know everything; there is also a list of which ones need to be taken with food, without food and I think some need to be refrigerated. See,you were never this organized”, I remind him buttoning up his shirt, “I might be back late tonight”
Oh, okay that’s right his shirt wasn’t buttoned because for a few seconds he couldn’t quite figure out how to button it.
“Why?”
“I’m going shopping with Séverine and you now she can be sometimes”
“Try not to walk around too late by yourself”
“Sure”
Once everything is in place I step outside and relax
So the conflict starts to build and at this point I want to put some points in Adam’s corner and make a sympathetic affair. At home Sofia has to do so much to help Tomas that she needs a break. She realizes that she even has to help him remember to button his shirt.
+2+
Tuesday morning I walked up to the center of the massive stone stairs on the front and look around for Adam. I see him sitting on the bottom step with his guitar.
“Hey”, I tap him on the shoulder
“Hello, thought I was stood up. What do you think so far?” He gestures at The Met.
“I like it so far but I’d rather go inside”
We both take the steps two at a time, each paying for our own entrance. The Met had more art that I recognized from class or that I recognized period. The religious artwork is what interested me the most since they mostly had a Catholic influence.
We spend two hours just looking and commenting and I already know I want to comeback to look at the Egyptian galleries tomorrow, I don’t say so because I don’t want to seem like to much of a bookworm. Since its only 6 o’clock we decide to catch an early dinner at an Italian restaurant close by.
“Thanks for getting me to come”, I said over mushroom linguine, “I really liked it”
“I figured. You would die in the Louvre, it’s beautiful”
“I’ve seen pictures, it looks amazing. What’s it like growing up in Europe ?”
“It’s different compared to here, but since I was doing International Finance, I convinced my parents that America was the prime place to get into the market”
“But, it’s not is it”
“I may have had ulterior motives. The music scene is great in London but it doesn’t compare to the variety in New York.
“And your brother followed?”
“He’s older, so more like I followed him”
My view was suddenly blocked by the waitress refilling my water glass, she gives me a look and offers Adam more water with a grin. I’d lost track of our conversation and remembered something he mentioned last time.
“You had a show this week, right ?”
“Yes, It was okay it was at some place by NYU, I mean no 8BC”, he seems surprised that I asked or maybe that I’d remembered.
“Oh, that’s in that movie”
“Rent?”
“Yeah, I mean I know it’s a play but I saw the movie”
Okay, no more Rent references. I promise
“You know a lot about New York for someone who has only lived here a few months”, he says
“I read a lot”
I don’t mention my favor towards Jane Austen, I’m afraid he’ll think I only went to dinner with me because he reminds me of the characters in her books might speak. I realize I’m not even listing to him talk but I can tell he is talking about his music his face is animated and he is very passionate about it.
This whole scene reads so much lighter than the heavier parts with Tomas and Sofia. It just kind of bores me ?
My thoughts are interrupted from my cell phone ringing. I apologize quickly and pick up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Sofia!” Séverine shrieked from the other end
“Yes?”
“Tell me why I just had to lie for you and tell Tomas that you and I are out shopping”
“I’m sorry I had my phone turned off in the museum.”
“Wh- oohhh ! are you with him”
“Yeah, now I’m sorry I just. . .”
Shit, I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t told Tomas the truth, maybe I just forgot to tell him, but I was relived that Séverine had lied for me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong I was just making friends. I guess I was afraid of . . . something.
Oh, Sof is cursing again.
“It’s okay, Sof . . . call me later tell me everything”
“Séverine it’s not lik-“
Click
I turned back realizing Adam had heard my entire conversation, but I doubted he could have gotten anything from that.
“Can I be “frank”, with you Sofia”
I wanted to make some joke but didn’t feel up to it.
. . . and light moment over.
“Yes”
“You don’t seem happy”
“You’re one to speak, you spent all this time with me in art galleries and you don’t even like it that much”
He’s a nice guy. Right ?
“I like that you like them and what I mean is every time you mention your husband or home life you sound detached. . .”
“I guess I’m going through a hard time right now”
He lets the topic drop and we talk through coffee, I have to remind myself not to smile so much when he talks about England and comparing it to United States with our “Absurdly amazing choices in the grocery aisle”
“So”, I said trying to hail a cab in vain, “If you don’t mind me asking where you live?”
“Hell’s Kitchen, why?”
“I just love how different the city is, that’s all. It’s weird we live so far apart from each other”
“Yeah, but we met in the middle”
No, Adam. You don’t get to have interesting lines just yet. . .
+3+
Everyone forgets things
I spend most of my time with doctors and specialist throwing big medical words at me as fast as they can so they can move on to the next patient.
But apart from that I’m starting to forget things that I want to remember, the kind of shit that used to be my entire reason for putting up with the next day.
Without having to think about it I light another cigarette, but it’s simply an addiction. There is no high no satisfaction. I mean shit how long had I been clean? I mean really clean.
4 months ?
It’s not like I could contract more AIDS or anything worse.
I stared at the blank sheet of paper in front of me and the work I was trying to do, it shouldn’t be this hard to think of a unique way of drawing a skull and cross bones.
It was almost 9 o clock and Séverine had mentioned that she and Sofia might go out to dinner. . . .
I knocked the pad and pen off my lap and make my way into the bedroom. I sit on Sofia’s side of the bed and open her nightstand drawer taking out the novels she was reading this week, red lipstick and a cracked perfume bottle.
I mentioned this before and I think SH might have had a similar issue but it took me some time to think about what would be in each characers nightstand.
The perfume bottle is from Spirits. It’s where she hid the pills she stole.
In the back are two perfectly stacked piles of one dollar bills. I count out 189 bills and place 80 back in the drawer placing all the items back in the exact same order. I jump a little when I hear the door creak but it’s just the cat scratching at it.
Oh, dear now he is stealing from her to buy drugs. Seriously Tom ?
On my way out the front door I’m tempted to leave it open and see if the cat will wonder out but there might be witnesses, so I leave it ajar.
Oh, dear now he is trying to make the cat run away. How did any of you still like Tomas ?
I don’t have to walk far, or walk for the matter I just turn around and knock on the neighbor’s door.
The loud fucking neighbor
Or I should say the loud while fucking neighbor
He waste no time answering, obviously glad that I’m taking him up on the offer he had given me when I first moved in. The neighbor is older than most tenets and judging by his looks he must bring home a lot of very drunk girls.
“What you got ?”, these guys waste no time.
I slip a 100 dollar bill out of my coat pocket and add it to the ones, he seems pleased and starts counting. I decide no to make myself comfortable, all the while listening out for footsteps in the hall.
After a while he goes into the bathroom and comes back out a few minutes later and shakes my hand in agreement, I don’t miss the slight roll of his finger.
“Thanks”, is all I have to say.
I’ve always said that, and It’s not like these guys are holding the door open or buying me a drink but it was probably the only time I said “thanks” and meant it. I quickly head back to my apartment
And so Tomas starts using again.
“Fuck”, the door is locked.
Thus implying that Sof came home while he was buying drugs.
I knock while thinking of an excuse but come up empty when Sofia opens the door. She’s already dressed for bed so she probably walked in as soon as Derek started counting the money, a good five minutes at least. She’s still wearing her make up though.
“I went for a walk”
“Good”, is all she says about that, “And you took your medicine, right ?”
“Yeah, there’s not a lot left”, I estimate a 2 weeks worth.
We both step forward at the same time and collide slightly, which odd is given the large amount of space we live in.
Hmm, I have no recollection of writing that. I like it.
“I was going to make dinner”, she explains
“I was going to do some work. . . but you don’t have to do that, I know you already ate”
“Are you sure-“
“Yeah”
I hadn’t dared to kiss her since her little break down but something seemed different and I wasn’t sure if it was different good or different bad. I almost want to ask her but decide against it.
“Okay, I’m going to bed, then”, she says
“It’s 9 :30”
“I’m tired”
I want to tell her that I hate the silence; I want to tell her that I want company, I want to tell her about the drugs and for her to take them from me.
I want so many things from her.
But all I need is wrapped tightly in my hand.
Oh, Tomas is that a one-liner I see ?
+4+
I dreamed about Paris. The Lourve to be exact. I dreamed about walking down café lined streets while having long conversations about obscure pieces of art and visiting the Palace of Versailles ( A piece of art work in itself) at sunset to catch the beautiful reflection when the water is perfectly still. I’d be able to see myself and Adam kissing.
Breathing would become hard, loud and laborious. I could almost say my own name
I wasn’t dreaming
I woke up to Tomas struggling to breath, his eyes were half closed and he seemed almost content gasping for air.
“Tomas ?”
I turn the light on and opened one of his eyes expecting his eyes to be dilated, but they are at perfect pin points. I can’t dial 911 fast enough, the operator says that she will send someone to be there in 10 minutes and doesn’t offer to stay on.
“Hold on”, I tell him, he doesn’t get to go this way
Oh, isn’t Hold On the name of a chapter ?
The sun is just barely rising when the paramedics arrive, it’s like they are invading the hospital free world I tried to set up. I think twice about getting in the ambulance with him.
“Where are you taking him”, I ask
“Brooklyn County”, The paramedic answers and shuts the door. I run back up stairs and throw on a pair of jeans scrambling to look for my wallet and end up burning my hand on a warm spoon.
“Fucking asshole”, I’d like to think he heard me.
Told you it gets real when Sofia starts cursing. FYI. This indicates that Tomas had been getting high on meth while Sof was sleeping.
I also grab the extra cash I have hidden in my night stand and take the subway down to the hospital. I find the emergency room and that familiar anxiety comes back to me; all of it. patients, doctors, nurses, machines, regulation beds.
She may or may not notice 100$ missing
I hate it all
“I’m looking for Tomas Alexander”, I say to someone who looks like they are in charge, a nurse sitting behind a huge desk
“What’s he in for ?”, she ask completely innocent
“. . .It’s a ”, she was just going to judge me and my unacceptable appearance didn’t help, “I think he overdosed on something”
“something ?”
“I think it was heroin”
Oh, it is heroin not meth as indicated earlier. This make sense because Heroin is smokable. Ummm . . . moving on.
“Just a minute”
Now that I have a second to think, I start to wonder if he is dead.
Fucking Bastard
REAL
“Miss ?”, I assume that’s me, “He’s stable.”
“That’s good news, right”
“ Now”, she sounds stern. “You both seem pretty young so, here is what I’m willing to do. If you can pay your bill, I’ll refile the paperwork and admit him as John Doe off the street so they won’t search wherever you are living, if, you all get some help.”
I’m sure my pigtails and watery eyes helped a little, but I wasn’t the one with the problem anymore. I agree to pay in cash but scramble when I realize I’m missing some money, fortunately I had gone to the ATM yesterday.
“Can I see him now”
She motions for a student nurse to take me to him, it’s strange the first time I visited Tomas in the hospital, when we first met this was the last placed I’d thought we would ever be.
This
is in LA.
He seems to be sleeping peaceful but his skin is marked from medical equipment, I know the treatment for overdose is tough and more often than not ends in death.
He’s lucky
“Tomas”
I blow on his ear to wake him up, mostly because if I touch him I might just kill him.
LOL, Sof. Good one.
“Sofie”, I lean in a little closer not quite ready to speak, “the dresser.”
“What about it ?”
“I. . .”, he has a little trouble swallowing, “a little hit, baby.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you”, I say quietly but am resisting the urge to yell, “you just fucking overdosed not 2 hours ago, in our home while I was sleeping right next to you”, I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, “and you stole money from me just to feed your little habit and you want more ? How about an I’m sorry or ? What the hell happened ? you said no more needles.”
“Please. . .Sofie”, he begs me.
“No”
“Just get me the hell out of here, please. I just need. . . I need it”
He reaches up to grab the collar of my shirt ripping the IV out of his arm, causing the nurses to restrain him, I watch cautiously as one of the nurse wipes away the blood on his arm.
“He has AIDS.”, I tell her
She says this because of all the blood
He’s still straining against the nurses like I’m the one who put him here.
“You little bitch”, he yells at me, “Get me out of here. I’d never fucking do this to you.”
This
is where a lot of readers started hating Tomas. He is really going through the
gambit here. In Spirits he never denied Sofie drugs, but now that he needs it
to cope with AIDS Sofie is denying him. It’s a real tense moment and he could
have said worse.
“I’m not doing anything.”, I explain
“Little bitch, always gets her way.”
Really again Tomas ? I’m trying to get you back in good graces.
They call over a few male nurses to sedate him and I know it’s just the addiction talking but even when he is still begging me for drugs.
I don’t bother saying anything, I just walk away.
+5+
I didn’t know where I was going but walking felt good.
I walked out of the hospital and down the street. After a block or two I got tired of being seen wearing a tight faded purple t-shirt, wrinkled jeans and torn-up Birkenstocks. Somewhere between walking and waiting for any subway train to pull in I had taken my hair out of the pigtails.
I got on the first train heading in the opposite direction. I just needed to think.
I got off 45 minutes later not even looking at the stop but I knew I must be downtown. I decided I had official overreacted.
Reaching the surface I hadn’t expected to it to b so crowded. I was in an area I hadn’t been in before and it was filled with people in suits, who seemed to busy to notice me.
I was spent.
Two hours ago I was sleeping peacefully, now I felt literally lost.
I walked around the next block and one building stood out to me.
I took out my phone and dialed the number quickly, I was the first one to speak
“Adam, I need your help. I’m at the United Nations.”
Cause Adam’s brother works at the UN that’s why she thought of him.
+6+
In front of the United Nations building is a walkway of flags from all over the world. I make an amusing and educational game of naming all of them. I get the easy one first: Brazil, Sweden, South Korea. I briefly notice Lithuania and Mali have similar looking flags.
“Sofia, are you okay ?”, Adam calls to me from the sidewalk. I hadn't even heard him arrive.
“Adam.”
He puts his arms around me and I imagine that I must look worse than I actually am. He seems to fit in with the early morning crowd wearing khakis and a nice jacket. I think it’s the only time I’ve seen him without his guitar.
“I’m okay”, I tell him, “I’m just—“
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes
“Tomas, he overdosed this morning and. . .”
I let myself go back to the tumultuous 7 minutes I spent waiting for the paramedics, wondering if they would get there in time.
“Is he okay ?”, he asked
“Yes, he just wants more and he blames me, He was doing so well”, I’m careful not to say we, “I don’t want to wake up to that ever again.”
"What exactly does that mean?”
“I don't know. I just need to go to my foster-sisters house.”
“Do you want me to take you ?”
“No, I’m sorry to drag you into this.”
“I work with musicians, I’ve heard worse.”
I think that’s supposed to make me feel better.
“I should have called Séverine. It's just your number is my phone and I just saw the UN and thought of your brother . . .”
“Sofia, we are friends now. You can call me whenever you need anything. It’s not like I work nine to five or anything.”
“Thank You.”
I decide to return his hug and without thinking I kiss him on the cheek.
“I really want you to be okay.”, he sounds sincere
He holds my hand while I call Séverine. I don’t give her the details but she sends a car (since I just woke her up) and promises to see me later.
Sofia needs to get better friends
“I can have the driver take you somewhere”, I offer to Adam
“Nah, I think I’ll see what my brother is up to, I’ll be around if you need anything.”
“Same here.”
A black town car pulls up in a few minutes. Adam opens the door for me and I’m to tired to realize the gesture
Also here is the thing about Adam. He doesn’t actually ever NEED Sofia for anything like Tomas does. Not that I would ever go as far to say these two have a relationship.
+7+
When I arrive at Séverine’s I tell her everything and the best part of talking about it knowing that it is now in the past.
Not the distant past but close enough.
“You’re going back, aren’t you ?”, she says once I’m done and properly dressed in her clothes
“Well, Charleston is there and . . .”
“I mean you’re not going to leave him ?”
It was a fair assumption since Séverine didn’t know the whole truth. No matter how bad Tomas looked right now, I had let drugs take their toll on my life for a brief period time of course Tomas was the only one who knew and would ever know.
That’s right. Severine never knows about Sofia’s drug habit. I would have liked to explore this but instead I went in another direction. Of course Sofia is of the belief that her Perscription drug problem isn’t a problem.
“I can’t, not over something like this.”
“But something else ?”
Meaning if he gets abusive
I don’t answer the question.
After an hour of coffee and day-time talk shows I’ve recuperated enough to head back to the apartment and get ready for school in time for late morning classes.
Just hours ago I had woken up from a dream and into a nightmare
The nightmare is I go on for THIRTEEN more chapters. *Spoiler* most of them get scratched out.
.
II
+1+
Charleston and I live alone in the apartment for a week. The hospital releases Tomas the day after he is admitted but doesn’t come back to the apartment or call. I do notice his medicine is gone when I arrived back from my classes one evening. I had made an effort and got rid of what was left of the heroin as soon as possible but there were no signs that he had looked for it.
I leave notes at his studio before it opens after the second day telling him that I’m concerned but am willing to give him some space, it works on my anxiety that he could just walk in on me sleeping at any moment so I spend little time at the apartment
After my visits to the museums I do a little shopping in local thrift stores, just trying to keep everything together. It's not like I had never lived alone before and of course I had Charleston. I even take Adam out for a quick cheap lunch as a thank you.
After visiting The Guggenheim one Friday afternoon, marking 8 days since I’d seen Tomas, I stop by Whole Foods to try something new for dinner. I managed to reduce the electric bill by putting the TV in the closet and keeping the lights out when I’m not there (cats can see in the dark, right).
Right ?
When I get home I don’t expect to see someone sleeping on the couch with the Starry Night blanket I had bought from the MoMA gift shop.
Uh, Tom you are so screwed up here. You left for 8 days without a word ?
“Tomas ?”, I shake him awake
He seems startled at first, and as angry as I am I’m glad to see he is still alive.
“I’m sorry”, is the first thing he says and I’m not sure it’s enough, “ I just needed to feel like I was still there”, this seemed rehearsed, “Ever since I first moved here I felt like I’m losing parts of who I was and I just needed a little of the old me. . . please forgive me”
Hello to you too
I’m pretty sure I borrowed this from SH. I think Julie says it to Sawyer ? Yes, I’m giving all the characters nicknames.
He reaches into his pocket and hands me 80 dollars with another apology and starts kissing the back of my hand.
I think he stole 100
“I keep thinking that I could have woken up to a cold body and the only thing you cared about was more drugs, I’ve been supportive with everything and it was like you were throwing it away.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t say that enough”, he starts to kiss me but rethinks it, “Forgive me”
“It’s your apartment, you make the money, pay the bills; you can stay but I’m not ready to forgive you. ”
“That is easy for you to say, you don’t have any responsibilities you can screw up as much as you want”
He always considered "full-time students" to be a bullshit excuse for being lazy.
“I have one big responsibility, if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t take your medicine or even button up you own shirt, and I have to keep going on with my life when you decide you need time to yourself .”
So she throws that in his face. What is this fight #2 ?
“Don’t be a bitch, you just got lucky you had the same chance of getting infected as I did. I was always protecting you when you got high.”
“Did you want to die or something ? I’m not complete convinced you weren’t trying to kill yourself”, I had finally said it
“I don’t have to convince you of anything and I don’t need your forgiveness, but till then you can sleep on the couch”
I wonder if he could tell that I’ve been sleeping on the couch these past few days.
“I’m making Kung Pao Vegetables”, I say out of habit to Charleston who is clawing at the Whole Foods bag.
Still a vegetarian. Also this shows that Sofia does cook for him, but not often.
“What ?”, Tomas ask
“I had it at this restaurant I went to a few days ago with Ad—Séverine and her friends”
Shit
REAL
He seems preoccupied with finding his ashtray to notice my slip up.
+2+
I royally fucked up.
To much to fast and I could feel it and wanted more.
When they released me from the hospital I went back to the apartment to find no one home, but I did find pages from my sketch book filled with whatever I had drawn last night, and here is the sick part.
It was good, my best yet.
So, I went to work.
I spent as long as I could just doing my job something I was good at. I tried not to shake too much or give into the temptation or I should say not to much into temptation.
Okay, so this touches on the idea that a lot of artist (musicians, artist, poets) do better work when they are on drugs and it’s why drugs and art go hand in hand. I could have focused on that but . . .
She had taken to leaving notes on the studio door, none of which ever asked me to come back to the apartment.
When I couldn’t sleep I worked on myself until I drove a needle into my leg when I dosed off.
He was giving himself a tattoo not shooting up.
I slept in the back of the studio and one night had the macabre thought of sleeping in the coffin, after that thought I took some over the counter sleeping pills and had an dream about having sex in the coffin with Pin Up Girl.
After a few days I’d had a record 23 clients and enough conversations to realize I needed to make amends fast. It wasn’t until one of my clients returned that I got the final push I needed.
Um, no idea what this is referencing
It was nice coming back to a clean apartment, it looked different. She had gotten rid of some stuff and put up more decorations. I only briefly wonder what she did with the syringes, lighter and the unopened box of condoms that where in my dresser drawer.
Sofia and I made quick and painful amends but if she couldn’t forgive me then I wasn’t going to share my bed with her. It was as if all my mistakes meant more than hers when in-fact they mean less.
Cause you know. . . he is dying.
For the most part we live like roommates. I work while she goes to school and does homework from nine to five. I work on my art when I get home and if she isn’t out with Séverine she’ll make dinner.
I’m tempted to take her off my checking account but she only buys groceries so I just I pay the bills and do my own laundry and a few dishes.
Severine=Adam, sometimes
Needless to say it was hell and if it weren’t for the fact that, that I could watch her sleep at night and tolerate her, I think I’d be gone.
+3+
I wrap my hand around the silver barrel again but my hot curlers are still stone cold. I plug them into the plug under the sink only to see the floor littered with cigarette buds.
Seriously Tomas
“Watch out”, I stand up to see Tomas walk in behind me lighting a cigarette, he over slept this morning. He turns on the water and reaches for his razors, knocking my make up into the sink.
“Can you give me a few minutes?”, I ask feeling the cold curlers again.
“Can’t. I’m running late”, he says
The curlers are still cold.
“What the hell?”
“The electricity is out”
I had set my cell phone alarm this morning and hadn’t even noticed.
“Did you pay the bill ?”
“I used the money for something else”
He steps closer to the mirror and because the space is so small I have to put one foot in the shower while trying to put my hair up with a silver comb.
“What for ?”, I figured he wanted me to ask and this could be the first civil conversation we’d had in days.
“I’m going home”
I turned from my reflection and decided I would deal with this later and went to get my purse.
“Wait”, he finishes shaving quickly and follows me, “It’s not like that”
He hands me a brightly colored folder that looks like an advertisements, it’s filled with papers written in a language I don’t understand but it looks familiar. The only words that stand out are “International Marked 4 Life ’08 “
Okay, so I’m not sure if I shed any light on this but I found out that they have HUGE tattoo conventions in Eastern Europe all the time and there were a few in Lithuania and I just KNEW I had to write this in.
For reference the only reason Tomas is Lithuanian is because I needed him to have gray eyes. Also his mom would have come over after the Cold War . . . or something.
“What is this ?”
“It’s a tattoo convention. It’s in Vilinus and I swear this isn’t just about work. I haven’t see my family in 5 years and this could be my only chance. One of my clients offered me and Kasey tickets if we could get there, you and I may have to make some sacrifices to make ends meet, but it would be good for busi-“
“Okay”, I get it; he wants to see his family. I could stay with Séverine while he is gone that should cut down on water and electricity.
I also didn’t need convincing to get a break from the smoke and the smell of burning incenses, and the word family was always a trigger with me, I wasn’t completely convinced he was working my sympathy.
“I should be able to pay the bill by the end of the day and maybe you could stop shopping at Whole Foods and buying make up, you don’t need it”
I’m pretty sure that was a compliment and considering the tension I decide to take it. I consider taking the eyeshadow off when I get a text message from Adam.
Café Live this Saturday @ 9. U & Séverine ?
I decide to reply with a maybe. I hadn’t really been out since I moved to the city and I knew Séverine would love to get me dressed up and out of Brooklyn.
Café Live is a lame name
I grab my lunch from the refrigerator and notice a few new medicinal bottles on the bottom shelf.
“You refilled your medicine?” it was more like an accusation, “I thought-“
“I need to be alive long enough to make the trip, don’t I”
He takes my lunch and pulls the silver comb out of my hair before leaving. I was still stuck on his choice to continue medication.
Right decision, wrong reason.