ABWG3
+++
Sofia
I walked from around the corner to the hotel. I didn’t want to risk Tomas seeing me getting out of the car. I noticed a red sports car parked next to ours. I chalked it up to a coincidence but I was a little concerned.
I opened the door to see my foster-sister in the kitchen fanning a smoking tray in the oven.
“Severine”, I grabbed some bathroom towels and pulled a burnt pizza out of the oven. Severine began muttering something about the fire extinguisher but I just threw the burnt pizza in the sink with some cold water.
“What are you doing here.”
“I-I”, she hugged me, “I’m here for you”
“Severine, I don’t want this to be your problem”
“I was so self centered I should have known. I’m just trying to be supportive.”
I was guessing she considered cooking dinner to be supportive.
“thanks but I already ate. I can take care of things from here.”
“ Well Tomas is sleeping and I even put Elijah to bed. I’ll be back tomorrow, I’m staying in Raleigh this Saturday me you and Paige are going out.”
“Sounds fun”, I lied.
She hugged me again before she left, though that hug felt more like an apology.
I slid the doors to the bedroom open. The tv was on low and Tomas was sleeping shirtless, he had wrapped himself in the thin sheets. I reached over to make sure he wasn’t running a fever but he just felt warm,
“Hey”, he said opening his eyes slightly
“You let Severine cook ?”
He laughed a little but I could tell he was tired
“She insisted”
“I really needed you today.”
His smile quickly faded.
“No you didn’t”
I peeled of my sweater and climbed into bed next to him. I tried to wrap my arms around him but he moved from my embrace.
“Tomas”, I pleaded
“I just need to be alone.”
“I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you.”
“Sofia, please besides who knows what germs you might have picked up.”
“What’s that supposed to mean ?”
“I saw that woman’s car. Unless you want to fuck up everything you came here for stay away from her.”
“You don't know her”
“I know a crack addict when I see one.
“like you didn’t have a problem with drugs.”
“but I got over that shit real quick when I started having to support a family. Please Sofia get the fuck away from me.”
I took my time getting up from the side of the bed, I turned the thermostat down hoping it would help him sleep.
+++
Tomas
I didn’t sleep that much.
I couldn’t.
I dragged my sorry ass up from my bed and listned as she cried. I hated myself for pushing her away but I had to. I couldn’t let her need me I couldn’t have her depend on me. She needed something solid, someone she always knew was going to be there.
I had purposely detached myself from the real reason we were here and now I more than anything needed to know what was going on. She crawled into bed a half and hour later. Her skin still warm from the shower.
She turned to kiss me as an apology. We hadn’t kissed in so long and I could tell that it comforted her. She pushed herself closer straddling me so I could lie down. Her hair fell on my face tickling me. My mouth met her open lips.
“Sofie”, I said holding her still
“I know. . . you don't want me because of . . . Allen.”
“God, Sofie you know that’s not true.”
I'm sorry I know I shouldn't T-DOLL this but those two lines want to make me rip my hair out. Sofia is smarter than that. Also the new text boxes make it hard to change colors ) :
“My life hasn’t been any different since , why am I doing this ? When did my words become so meaningful.”
I stroked the side of her face, for the first time she was talking to me and I didn’t know what to say.
“Sofia do you know why I’m still here. With you and Elijah ?”
“Tell me”
“Because I know how it feels to feel like you’re not wanted. . . like you’re a mistake. Could you stand if some other girl got hurt because of what you didn’t say.”
She bit her lip and I knew there was something else.
“I’ll always want you Sofia.”
Under the sheets I pulled down her pajama bottoms and I realized what she wanted from me.
I wondered if it had something to do with him or maybe she felt alone and I was the only option.
I laid down and reached for my wallet and shut off the light.
This wasn’t a usual part of our relationship, the last time we had been together was after watching a particularly heated scene in a film. It was a messy, quick, fumbled attempt. We never talked about it.
I rolled the condom on as her body met mine in the dim light. She was silent we both were . . . had to be. I could do this much, I could enjoy it. I kissed her neck and held her firm till I was done.
I listened as her breathing went back to normal her lips were close to my neck and she kissed me.
“Again . . .please”
She couldn’t see me shaking my head in the dark. I’d only had one condom on me and I was so tired. I hated even being reminded of it and pretend to be asleep.
+++
He didn’t get up to work the next day
That was how it went.
So this last sentence was the last lines of ABWG I ever wrote. It made me realize how much of a Rollercoaster of Angst this story was going to be. I wasn't committed to it. between LA, FS, and S&A I've squeezed out so much.
Tom and Sofia spend most of the chapters fighting and brooding.I was getting tired of having to write with this awkward Elijah and Tomas semi-plothole going on.
I may dabble in something S&A related if I get THE idea but for now this is complete.
Everything I try with S&A gets pretty bitter and dark, so I’ll let it alone for now
Back to the blog for the rest of what could have happened!