+1+
Tomas
It had taken every bit of strength I had to yell at that woman. How fucking dare she.
After a few moments I pushed myself into the hotel room. Sofia was no longer by the window she was sitting on the bed. I studied her eyes for a while and I couldn’t tell if she was scared or angry.
“She’s gone”, I said
“Thanks, I didn’t even know—I didn’t even think. . .”
“Just don’t think about it”, I said wanting to end the conversation .
“She looked so normal and those kids—“
“Sofia, forget it. How did finding a job go ?”, I could tell something about the woman had set her off and I was desperate to change the subject
“Oh, they said I could work nights since I won’t be in court.”
“That’s good”
“We should go to the hospital to make sure everything is okay with you”,
“We’ll see.”
“When was the last time you had your t-cells checked ?”
I don’t know why she asked when she knew the answer. The last thing we needed were more hospital bills. I started to feel claustrophobic in the small room. It had felt nice to be away from her over bearing gaze. I didn’t bury my own mother to get another one.
I’d spent the day telling my mother’s old friends and co-workers what happened to her, they said they were sorry and went about their day. Some of them had to take a second to remember who she was. I don’t know what I expected somewhere in-between all of that I started really hoping it wouldn’t be like that when I . . .
Well that wasn’t for a long way off. Right ?
“Tomas ? are you listening”, I wasn’t
“No. . .sorry . . . I just need some sleep”
“Okay, can I get something for you ?”
“No”, I said
I forced myself to take a splash of ipecac till I had gotten everything out of my system. Before I went to sleep I was sure to commit those precious pills to memory.
+++
The next morning started slow. I noticed Sofia took longer to fix her hair and make up. She put on a dress that made her look really nice. I didn’t like it though, I mean what if he was there and saw her. No, it was just a deposition just talking and lawyers. . . right ? He wouldn’t be there.
Right ?
Maybe I should ask her.
Why should I ? This had nothing to do with me. This was her life before me I just had to keep my distance.
I felt a little better when she put a sweater on and we headed out to the car, the parking lot was clear but the chalk drawings on the pavement showed signs of our visitors.
“Are you sure you can drive ?”, she said getting in the passenger seat after buckling Elijah in.
“I just need one foot to drive.”, I reminded her
“I know but remember you have precious cargo”
“Don’t worry”, I said but I wasn’t talking about my driving, I was talking to her.
I’d been to the Petal Brooke county court before, it was an entire complex that I swear only served to intimidate. It was built in the 80’s and looked like it too. The plain brown buildings were all backed together and went on for miles.
The lots were packed with nice cars, correctional vehicles and plenty of people in suits. I pulled up the address the lawyers had given her.
It was another large court complex with only a few numbers to let us know we were at the right place, she looked nervously at the business card and then back at me.
“I wish you could come with me”, she said toying with her seat belt.
“I don’t think I can do that.”
I actually didn’t know but I wanted to get out of here as soon as I could. I didn’t want to think about what would happen once I left.
“I know—I just. . . I should go. Please go straight back to the hotel. I’ll have my phone so you can call me, I labled the pills and I left some milk in--”
“Go, Sofie”, I insisted. If she didn’t leave now she never would.
She noded realizing she was stalling and stepped out the car. She took her time walking around the car and to the steps of the building.
I blasted the air conditioner and waited for her to go inside and made sure she stayed there before pulling off. I probably should have gone straight back to the hotel but I couldn’t be cooped up inside all day.
I took my eyes off the road for a second and moved the rear view mirror quietly watching the sleeping baby in the back seat.
Bars were out of the question and so were any of my so called friends homes. I made a quick turn and pulled into a 24 hour diner downtown. I’d remembered it had some local artwork maybe I could look into selling a few pieces.
It was still to early in the goddam morning and diner was quiet except for the sound of my beeper going off gaining the attention of the waiter at the back of the restaurant. He solemnly took my order and I looked at some of the artwork on the walls. It was pretty basic, not enough red though. I was glad Elijah was sleeping through the morning I wouldn’t have been able to deal with crying right now.
While I was putting my thoughts together I felt a pair of thin sweet smelling hands covering my eyes.
“Guess who ?”, said a voice I did not want to hear.
“I think you just gave yourself away.”
She moved her hands and moved into the seat across from me, sitting with her perfect posture looking questioningly at the surroundings.
“I really don’t know what she sees in you.”
“I didn’t exactly invite you, Severine.”
“I saw that hideous car outside, it’s kind of hard to miss”
“What are you even doing here ? I thought you were in Shanghai.”
She took of her shades and shook out her long blonde hair, she didn’t look me in the eye as she talked
“Um,. I read about it online about that man being arrested. I guess I sort of put two and two together. Sofia doesn’t know I’m here”
“I don’ t think she wanted you to know.”
“So it is true.”
“Look, you don’t have to spend time with me.”
“I thought we were getting along”, she kept her eyes on the table, only looking up to order a hot tea
“So did I but you didn’t feel the need to tell me my wife cheated on me.”
“That’s the past.”
“Maybe to you. Sometimes it’s like—“, No, this was what she wanted. I stopped there
“Tomas you can talk to me”
“Don’t you have a million other friends to talk to ?”
“Yeah, I do. But I’m here with you. And don’t act like you’ve been a saint either.”
We fell into an awkward silence after that. She kept opening her mouth to start asking questions but it took her a while to find the right one.
“Why don’t you think Sofia told me about what that man did to her ?”, she asked stirring her tea, “I mean we were best friend—sisters even.”
“I really don’t want to talk about this Severine.”
I started working on the drawing on the napkin again, for some reason it helped me think.
Maybe if I would have answered her question we wouldn’t have fallen into another deep silence. It didn’t take me long to realize the former queen bee and homecoming queen didn’t have many friends left in suburban North Carolina
By the time she orderd herself breakfast Elijah had woken up and Severine wanted play with him, unfortunately she was terrible with babies and I had to calm him down and let him eat some of my cheerios even though I knew his mother would kill me.
“Severine, I have a question”
“15-minutes later”, she said
“You were adopted to right?”
“Yeah.”
“So what is your story ?”
She started counting some cash in her hand and leaving an impressive tip on the table.
“Why don’t we save that for another meal.”, she suggested
“Fine, but next time I’m paying”
“We’ll see”, she said and I followed her outside.
I wasn’t surprised at all to see a sporty red corvette next to the hideous teal minivan.
+++
The inside of the office building was like a maze. I walked from floor to floor and from hall to hall till I found room 39E nestled on something called the executive floor.
The door had the name Tara Fielding, Attorney etched in black along the front. I knocked on the door not knowing what to expect on the other side.
A woman with bright red hair in curlers was sitting behind a desk, she had on a tightly fitted black suit with a colorful scarf thrown around her neck.
“You must be Sofia”, she said
“Yes, I’m sorry I’m late.”
“It’s fine. We will be ready to go in a few minutes”
“Um, am I in the right place.”
She nodded took her hair down from the rollers he hair was in bouncy curls like it was on her business cards. She was very polished for a lawyer .
“Sofia”, she said her voice was business like, “Usually with cases this old I really like to jog a plantiff’s memory.”
“Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten anything.”
“I know, I’m sure but you might be able to remember something more if we actually go there.”
She must have sensed my apprehension because she stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. This was more than just going back to the hospital she wanted to go back to that room , she really wanted to take me back to the last place I wanted to be.
This was why I had been apprehensive this, was why I wanted to leave.
“Ready ?”, she asked
“I-I-think so.”
“We are also going to tape it. . . it makes a more compelling deposition.”
Tara had a team comprised of 2 male interns and Martina who as working as her “unofficial” paralegal. Martina was out working today so I was stuck with three complelt strangers. One of the interns fumbled with a camcorder as Tara lead me out of her office.
“So um, do you work by the hour ?”, I asked
“Usually but I’m doing this pro-bono”
“Thank you.”
“Let’s jus say I’m hoping to be in the lifetime movie.”
She laghed it off though I didn’t really find her joke funny. The scorching heat seemed to be poruing down on us as we entered the parking lot. I follwed her to her car, looking nervously as the intern continued taping.
“When do you think the court day will be ?”, I asked
“Can’t say”
She got behind the wheel of a black Mercedes, the car still smelled new and I got the idea that whatever Tara did she was good at it.
I could just imagine the video camera zooming in as we approached the hospital. I felt my stomach tightening and my hands became tense. It was like I was looking at a large roller coaster instead of a building.
“Ready ?”, she said parking in the front.
“No”
“No one in there can hurt you. We can take this at your speed we’ll follow you. . . okay ?”
I closed my eyes and nooded.
Slowly I opened the car door and walked up the steps to Petal Brook Medical Centre. The first floor lobby was decorted in vibrant summer colors. The walls were covered with drawing kids in the hospital had done.
I started by taking the stairs I knew lead to the top floor and then turning towards intensive care, all while Tara and her interns followed me.
The doors were behind a large security desk but when they saw Tara coming they nodded and opened the door. I took the steps towards the end of the hall where things started to get quieter till I came to the private rooms.
“It’s this one”, I said pointing to Private Room C.
“Open the door”, she said
The door swung open and the room was empty except for the hospital bed and IV stand.
“Sofia”, Tara asked, “What happened here in 2005 ?”’
I had to disconnect myself, she just wanted to know the truth and I had to give it to her.
“I-I suffred a head injury from falling, this used to be my room.”
“What kind of injury.”
“I had temporal swelling. I couldn’t move my legs, my left side and facial muscles below my nose.”
“What else do you remember.”, her voice was surprisingly soothing.
“There was a new nurse. He seemed shy, sweet and a little nice.”, I felt sick at those words
Tara turned to the intern with the camera and motioned for him to rewind the tape.
“Let’s stick with the facts, Sofia”
“I’m sorry I don’t think I can do this”, I said looking at the camera, ”I don’t want this on tape.”
“Sofia, this is the most accurate way. I promise only us lawyers will see this.”
I looked at the bed in the center of the room and stepped closer to it. I remembered the long days I had stared at the manufacturing information imprinted on the side of it, I knew it was the same bed frame at the least.
“Now, Sofia what happened here ?”
She motioned to the camera and the blinking red light came back on.
“He-“
“Who is he”
I hadn’t even noticed I had started crying. These were things I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone else. These were my secrets to keep.
“Allen Fenton”, I hated saying his name again, “was my nurse. He followed procedure at first then he—“
I felt my knees give in and at first I reached for the bed to steady myself but I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. I would have given anything for a familiar face. I had barely told my husband this how could I tell a room full of strangers.
My knees softly hit the clean cold floor. As I set my hand down to keep from complelty losing it I started to remember what happen on this floor. I ran my hands over the tile where a helpless young girl had been brutalized, she had felt so alone. She didn’t know she would find a man who loved her.
The intern had gotten on one knee holding the camera steady
“The sooner we start the sooner we finish”, Tara said
“He said I was perfect. “, I stared running my hand across the floor, “he said I was perfect but he was wrong.”
+++
I needed him and he wasn’t there.
The deposition had continued there in that tiny hospital room. Slowly Tara began to question me about all the details. What happened here or there. Why didn’t you report it ? We took a break for lunch and met up at her office for more questions.
It was very late into the afternoon when she finally let me go. She promised once everything was filed she would let me know about the court date. I called Tomas as soon as I was done and he didn’t pick up his cell phone.
I left three messages I needed to be away from this place.
I stood on the steps that lead up to the office watching as people came and went, but still he didn’t come for me. I leaned against the stairs and closed my eyes for a few minutes. When I opened them I saw a familiar car coming around the corner.
I squinted and recognized it as the station wagon that had been outside the hotel last night. I stood up as Danielle Fenton got out.
For all I knew she was here for court stuff to so I ignored her.
“Sofia?”
I turned away as she said my name
“Don’t be that way.”
“Get away from me.”
She kept her distance but called to me.
“Just hear me out.”
“Don’t you know what your husband did ? how can you even talk to me.”
“You don’t understand no one understands.”
She looked so normal, she was clearly stressed and appeared harmless.
“he was never trying to hurt you.”, she said her voice breaking
“Get the hell away from me.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to raise a family alone, having your support taken away from you.”
“Yes, I do. My son and I are going to be all alone soon so don’t think I don’t understand what it is like to be you.”
I was suddenly confused by what I just said. Did I understand what it was liket o be her ?I didn’t take Danielle to be a smart woman but she was trying to prove a point. She and I were a lot alike.
“please, Sofia, please give me a chance.”
She went back to her car and opened the passenger side door. I realized she
was offering me a ride. I looked at my cell phone again.
I was apprehensive but I had to get back to my family. Her car was roomy and a stark difference to Tara’s. She had somehow stuffed 3 car seats into the back seat
“So, um how old are you ?”, I asked
“thirty-one”
“How many kids you have”
“five, three with him.”
She twirled a tiny engagement ring on her hand when she said “him”.
I placed my hand on the window as we cruised past the turn road for the hotel.
“You missed the turn”
“I know”
“Where are you taking me.”
“Please “, she begged driving faster, “Let me prove to you my husband is innocent.”
So the scene where Mrs. Fenton and Sofia go to the trailer park was supposed to go here. Also I mostly did this because I felt the scene with Tomas and Severine made up for them kissing in FS. BACK TO THE BLOG !